Short Story

Alien

Photography Jacquie Ray  From the Series, “We Shed”  | Courtesy of Bree Leche

Photography Jacquie Ray From the Series, “We Shed” | Courtesy of Bree Leche

Text Bree Leche

During my first pregnancy, I found how people's views of me changed as my body had changed. I learned that there were many unspoken rules to what pregnant people could and could not do. Even though pregnancy is just a natural process (literally, how any single human comes into the world), there seemed to be a strange preoccupation with it and/or desire to control it.

I was often put into a box and infantilized for my decisions. People were appalled at how I rejected their ideas of who a person transitioning to motherhood should be. Even strangers had an opinion about my body, and how I should be moving in it. I was questioned for hiking in my pregnant body, for working, for enjoying a beer at a bar, for engaging in kink, and for showing my bare belly during the summertime.

I've always wanted to do it on my own terms, coming up with my own concepts for new roles I've taken on. As a wife in an open marriage, as well as a sex and relationship coach who guides people how to properly listen to their inner voices. Creating and collaborating artistically through my pregnancy feels like another chance to instill that feeling.

The images presented are a part of a larger art project, which includes images of myself during pregnancy and postpartum that expanded folks’ imagination on who and what “mother” can and can’t be. This set was created in collaboration with photographer and contemporary erotic filmmaker Jacquie Ray. The body of work is all shot on film, and are simultaneously, maternal, erotic, strong, vulnerable, familiar and alien.

I hope that they challenge and expand what pregnancy represents, and make us ask ourselves why we have a difficult time allowing mothers and mamas-to-be as multifaceted and magical as they are.